And here goes…

Raise your hand if you were raised by women who were working moms.  Okay good, so I am not alone.  Then you will understand that the typical house-wifey skills were not passed down to me.  I have two kids and a wonderful (soon-to-be) husband.  But I am not that woman who cooks every meal, does every load of laundry, carpools to soccer with crazy soccer stickers on my car, or who was taught how to do any of the fabric arts.

I may not have the stupid little stick-figure family on my midsize SUV, cook supper every night, or do all the things that supermoms do (mainly because I have a full-time job and you can’t be full-time mom and full-time employee…just doesn’t work…trust me, I’ve tried), but the one girly-mom thing I wanted to learn was how to knit and crochet.

So after I got divorced (we can save the story for another day…it’s a wild ride), I needed a new hobby because dating was dangerous (…I mean it didn’t stop me from dating…but still, I needed something to do with my time beside look at Tinder and Match).  Therefore, I picked up a pair of knitting needles and taught myself how to knit.  More like YouTube taught me how to knit, but I think I will still take the credit.  I made two scarves for my kids for Christmas, two hats, and then I taught myself how to knit in the round.  All of this took like two years…no joke…again, full-time employee and full-time mom don’t really work well together.  I learned different stitches and loved it.  In the two years that I did all of this knitting, I wanted to learn how to crochet.  I LOVE the look of a lacy crochet pattern, but every time I picked up my hook and tried to teach myself (via YouTube again…don’t judge me), I failed. It took like a year to understand how to chain.  You think I am joking, but sadly I am not.  Then, when I tried to learn how to do the single crochet (SC for all you newbies like me), the person I was watching on YouTube was trying to tell me to go through the first chain, and I was like, “WTF you talkin ’bout, yo.”  As an administrator in higher education with two degrees in education, I could teach these so-called “crochet teachers” a few things about instructional presentation. Then, finally, one woman on the YouTube made it SO EXTREMELY clear.  Obviously, she is a teacher…in my professional opinion of course.

So now I know how to single crochet and double crochet and now I am going to take on my first big effing project.  It all started yesterday when I received an invitation in the mail to my cousin’s baby shower.  She will end up being one hell of a mom–she just naturally has it.  So I looked through her registry and thought of all the things I could get for her little new one; however, I decided I wanted to make something.  So I decided to make her blanket.  Besides, she is the type that would prefer hand-made thoughtful gifts to bought gifts any day.

However, I am scared.  Did I mention I am perfectionist?  Oh yeah…to the extreme.  Thus, I don’t want it to look shitty.  I want to do a good job, and I want to document the experience.

Join me, if you will, for the ride. I will post some picture and my reflections.  I will probably say a lot of f*cking curse words, so if you’re snooty and pretentious, don’t read this blog.

–The New-to-Crocheting-Unconventional-Mom/Wife/Director/Whatever else people can associate me with…

AKA – Jesse


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